The Decision

The idea of writing a blog juggled in my mind for months.  I'm about to leave the only place I've called home and go with my family to a country that is supposed to be home, and that was an adventure I felt was worth documenting.  But where do I start?  When do I start?  I wanted to find the "perfect" time, but that time will never come because there will always be something else that comes up or another problem I need to resolve.  After conversations with coworkers and friends, I decided that there's no better time than now because there will always be something, and I can come up with a million reasons to delay this blog.  

As of today, July 24th, 2018, I am less than two weeks away from my last day at Skyworks, and more importantly, it'll be less than a month away from officially moving to China.   When my wife and I made this decision, approximately half a year ago, it felt like that day was a long ways away, but in a blink of an eye, that day is quickly approaching.  Even as I type these words, a part of me still can't believe that we made this decision.  The decision to leave the place I grew up, the place my parents and family live, the place I met my wife, and the place my children were born was very difficult, but it also felt like the right decision.  

The reason why I haven't mentioned my kids and how they will adjust to the move is a big part of why this decision was made.  Two and a half years ago, my wife and I made a big decision and decided it was best for the kids to spend some time in China, her birth country, to build a foundation in the Chinese culture and language.  At the time, just the idea took months for me to agree with, but finally, after about four to five months I finally agreed and bought into the idea.  My wife and I both decided that having a strong Chinese foundation is vital not only to their development academically but also because it is their heritage.

Initially, it was supposed to have been a half year stint, and they were going to come back to Southern California, but half year become a year, and before we knew it, they've been out in China for the past two and a half years.  I am grateful that my manager and work gave me the flexibility and allowed me to travel to China once a quarter to visit my family.  It didn't make being away from my family any easier, but at least I was able to see them on a fairly regular basis; however, as the kids got older, the distance became more difficult.  During the past year, my son started being aware of the situation and my physical absence.  A couple of days before I would have to come back to the U.S. after a two-week stay, I could tell he was visibly sad, and on the days I departed he would cry watching me drive away.  My heart couldn't take it anymore, and I knew I needed to be around them, especially at this age.  

We could've just brought them back to the U.S., but my wife and I valued the importance of the kids having a strong Chinese foundation.  From my own experience and watching others around us, we knew that the likelihood of them losing the Chinese they've learned over the past two and a half years were high, and that would've defeated the purpose of us sending them back the first time.  It was primarily that reason why we made the decision to move to China.  

This will be one of the biggest decisions I will have ever made, but I also have to be grateful to have this opportunity.  A lot of colleagues would ask me why I'm going back to China, and I have to tell them that I am not going back to China because I've never lived there.  As a Chinese-American who speaks Chinese (Mandarin) and has some understanding of the Chinese culture, going to China is going to a foreign country even though I am of Chinese heritage.  Over the past couple of years, I've gone to China a lot more frequently, and although I gradually get more accustom to the life and culture there, I am still Americanized.  I look like everyone there and speak the same language, but mentally and culturally I am American, and that is where the challenge where arise.  

The next few weeks, preparing for the move, and the first month or so will be an eye-opening experience for me and truly an adventure as I settle in.  Now that I'll be living there and not just be visiting, how will I handle the local culture and people?  How will the family deal with having me around after being away for a period of time?  How will I adapt to the working culture?  Can I turn my business idea from a concept into reality?  There are a ton of questions to be asked, but only time will be able to answer them.