Anxi-cited

The two most common questions I get asked when people find out I'm moving to China are, (1) are you excited, and (2) do you have anything lined up?

How do I feel about our decision to move to China?  Am I excited, scared, nervous, or any other emotions I can use to describe how I feel?  My feeling towards the upcoming move to China should be an emotion most people would have, the combination of anxious and excited, anxi-cited.  

As I previously mentioned, I've never lived outside of Southern California, not even a different state in the United States.  I spent plenty of summers in Taiwan when I was a child, but those were short trips, and we were on vacation.  Although there are similarities between Taiwan and China, the differences seem to outweigh the similarities.  When I am in Taiwan, it feels familiar.  Maybe it's because of nostalgia, or it may be because I still have family members there, but I don't get those same feelings going to China, even though I've been to Guangzhou a lot more frequently over the past few years.  I am anxious about how I will adapt to the culture, handling the different lifestyle, deal with the working environment, and survive the mosquito-filled hot and humid summers.  I am anxious about the language and my ability to communicate in Guangzhou.  Even though the official Chinese language in China is Mandarin, In Guangzhou, Cantonese is the primary spoken language.  I speak conversational Mandarin fluently, but if the conversation gets technical or too academic, then I have difficulties keeping up, which means my comprehension of Cantonese is very minimal.  The majority of children all speak perfect Mandarin, and a lot of them no longer speak Cantonese, but the parents and the elderly still prefer speaking in Cantonese.  Being able to speak and understand Mandarin should allow me to get by, but my bigger challenge is my ability to read and write Chinese because I basically don't.  

After being in China for two and a half years, I am pretty confident both my boys (six and five) and possibly even my daughter (three), can recognize more Chinese characters than I can.  Unlike English, Chinese words are not 26 characters constructed together to create a word, but instead, each character represents one word.  To make things even more complicated, each character can have anywhere between one to ten to twenty strokes, and each character can have multiple pronunciations and meanings.  It is said that a person will need to know approximately 2000 to 3000 characters to read the newspaper.  I think I remember, from my Saturday Chinese school days from elementary through high school, about 150-200 characters.  (I may know a little more than that, but I don't want to oversell myself.)  That is not enough characters to even read first grader's book!  With such limited vocabulary, I cannot read menus, store names, and road signs let alone take care of official business.  I am confident that being fully immersed in a 100% Chinese environment I will pick up the language significantly quicker; however, how long will it take?  

There is a lot for me to be anxious about, and we haven't even talked about what I plan to do in China yet.  With that being said, I am excited for this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to move to a different country and experience something completely new.  When most people make a decision of this magnitude, they have to worry about how their family will assimilate to the new environment and handle the changes, but I'm lucky because my family has been there for the past few years, so I'm the only person who needs the adjustment.  Our living situation is already set up in Guangzhou, the kids are enrolled in school, and my wife has family there who can help out if needed.  I figured if I don't do this now, when the kids are still young, and at my age, I may never get this opportunity again.  For that reason, I am excited about this adventure.  

What do I have lined up?  I'm going to a new country (for me) and trying something I've never done before, so why start my own business and give that a try?  I'm going to take the knowledge and experience I have, find the need for my strengths, and utilize that to my advantage.  That is all I can say. 

Thank you Skyworks

The extended version of my going away note to Skyworks, posted on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniel-mc-leu/)

My last day at Skyworks Solutions is August 3rd.  This difficult decision took a couple of months in the making, but we felt that it a move I had to make, for my family.  

I want to thank everyone on the team, locally and remotely (Both Michaels, Joseph, Lucy, and Arcelinda).  It wasn't always easy, especially dealing with me, but in the end, we always found a way to pull through and get the job done.  Thank you for all of your help and support.  You helped make me look better and smarter than I really am.  I also what to thank all my colleagues for the interesting conversations, basketball games, helping with projects, and making things more difficult at work!  I appreciate all the successful projects and learning opportunities, but more importantly, thank you for all of your friendships.  

I especially want to thank my manager (Pearl), Director (Bara), Singapore Logistics Manager (Adam), and our VP (Francisco) for your support, guidance over the past few years.  I want to thank Pearl for taking a chance on me three and a half years ago.  Although you're my manager, you've always treated me like an equal, and I greatly appreciate your guidance and trust in me.  I want to thank Bara for being the tough guy and putting me in my place.  It may seem that you're unreasonable at times, due to my inexperience, but in the end, it all made sense.  Thank you for all of the knowledge and skills you've taught me.  I want to thank Adam for your continued support, knowledge, and friendship during my time here.  You were always available to help answer any questions I had or assist with issues I dealt with.  Even though I only worked directly with Francisco a couple of times, I was still able to learn a lot from you just through our interactions and by observing.  It is often said that managers and management are what makes work enjoyable, and I can honestly say that this is an extraordinary group to work with and for which is what made me look forward to coming into work, on most days.  

Thank you, everyone, for everything!  I am grateful for my opportunity at Skyworks, and this will be a chapter of my life that I will never forget, but I am excited about my next adventure.  This will be an adventure that takes me to a different country, dealing with different cultures and challenges, but instead of seeing it as something to worry about, I want to view this as a once in a lifetime opportunity, not only for my family, career, but a great opportunity for me to learn more about my own heritage.  

I plan to document my journey, experience, and opinions along the way.  If you want to follow along on this journey, feel free to tag along for the adventure.  (abcincn.blogspot.com)

Further Insight

At this point, I am not sure what to expect.  As I've previously mentioned, although I was brought up in a Chinese/Taiwanese household, I grew up in America which means the way I do things, think, and act are predominantly American, which I found out later in life.  Growing up, I thought was culturally 50% Chinese and 50% American because of how we were raised.  At home, we still retained some traditional cultures and beliefs because of the way we interacted, celebrated holidays, and handled situations were different compared to "Americans."  All of my parent's friends and families were Chinese and had similar beliefs, so I felt that we had a good balance between the two vastly different cultures.  Boy, was I wrong?

It wasn't until I went to China, to meet my future in-laws for the first time, that I realized I was far from being 50% Chinese and 50% American.  In reality, I am more 80% American and 20% Chinese, in the way I think and act.  Even though we were raised with traditional Chinese values at home, over a few decades in America, we gradually replaced some of our cultural beliefs and actions, so my first trip to China was a culture shock.  The way people interacted with each other, conversational topics, beliefs, values, to name a few, were all very different.  There were a lot of things they did or said that caught me off guard because I was not accustomed to them. In the same token, there were certain actions or behaviors I had that were deemed inappropriate or unacceptable.  

The longest time I've spent outside of Southern California was a month or so when I was young and went to Taiwan during summer vacation.  Aside from that, all my trips overseas have been only a couple of weeks at a time.  My exposure to the Chinese culture was limited to what I was taught at home, which had already been modified, or through my interaction with Chinese immigrants.  It wasn't until the past couple of years, with my family being in China, and I started traveling over there regularly did I gradually start getting used to the differences.  Even when I went to Guangzhou the last couple of times, there were still some things that the locals did that bugged me and difficult to comprehend. 

The more exposure I've had with the Chinese culture, the more information I've gained.  The cultural differences between regions in China are intimidating enough, so imagine trying to comprehend, understand, and accept the differences as someone who grew up in America.  Not only is still a lot to learn and understand, but I will also have to deal with the expectations.  Regardless of how "American" I am, I am 100% Chinese which means based on my physical appearance, there are expectations that not only should I know the local culture but I should also adhere by them.  Dealing with perceived expectations is only one of many challenges I'll need to face.  

The Decision

The idea of writing a blog juggled in my mind for months.  I'm about to leave the only place I've called home and go with my family to a country that is supposed to be home, and that was an adventure I felt was worth documenting.  But where do I start?  When do I start?  I wanted to find the "perfect" time, but that time will never come because there will always be something else that comes up or another problem I need to resolve.  After conversations with coworkers and friends, I decided that there's no better time than now because there will always be something, and I can come up with a million reasons to delay this blog.  

As of today, July 24th, 2018, I am less than two weeks away from my last day at Skyworks, and more importantly, it'll be less than a month away from officially moving to China.   When my wife and I made this decision, approximately half a year ago, it felt like that day was a long ways away, but in a blink of an eye, that day is quickly approaching.  Even as I type these words, a part of me still can't believe that we made this decision.  The decision to leave the place I grew up, the place my parents and family live, the place I met my wife, and the place my children were born was very difficult, but it also felt like the right decision.  

The reason why I haven't mentioned my kids and how they will adjust to the move is a big part of why this decision was made.  Two and a half years ago, my wife and I made a big decision and decided it was best for the kids to spend some time in China, her birth country, to build a foundation in the Chinese culture and language.  At the time, just the idea took months for me to agree with, but finally, after about four to five months I finally agreed and bought into the idea.  My wife and I both decided that having a strong Chinese foundation is vital not only to their development academically but also because it is their heritage.

Initially, it was supposed to have been a half year stint, and they were going to come back to Southern California, but half year become a year, and before we knew it, they've been out in China for the past two and a half years.  I am grateful that my manager and work gave me the flexibility and allowed me to travel to China once a quarter to visit my family.  It didn't make being away from my family any easier, but at least I was able to see them on a fairly regular basis; however, as the kids got older, the distance became more difficult.  During the past year, my son started being aware of the situation and my physical absence.  A couple of days before I would have to come back to the U.S. after a two-week stay, I could tell he was visibly sad, and on the days I departed he would cry watching me drive away.  My heart couldn't take it anymore, and I knew I needed to be around them, especially at this age.  

We could've just brought them back to the U.S., but my wife and I valued the importance of the kids having a strong Chinese foundation.  From my own experience and watching others around us, we knew that the likelihood of them losing the Chinese they've learned over the past two and a half years were high, and that would've defeated the purpose of us sending them back the first time.  It was primarily that reason why we made the decision to move to China.  

This will be one of the biggest decisions I will have ever made, but I also have to be grateful to have this opportunity.  A lot of colleagues would ask me why I'm going back to China, and I have to tell them that I am not going back to China because I've never lived there.  As a Chinese-American who speaks Chinese (Mandarin) and has some understanding of the Chinese culture, going to China is going to a foreign country even though I am of Chinese heritage.  Over the past couple of years, I've gone to China a lot more frequently, and although I gradually get more accustom to the life and culture there, I am still Americanized.  I look like everyone there and speak the same language, but mentally and culturally I am American, and that is where the challenge where arise.  

The next few weeks, preparing for the move, and the first month or so will be an eye-opening experience for me and truly an adventure as I settle in.  Now that I'll be living there and not just be visiting, how will I handle the local culture and people?  How will the family deal with having me around after being away for a period of time?  How will I adapt to the working culture?  Can I turn my business idea from a concept into reality?  There are a ton of questions to be asked, but only time will be able to answer them.